Building Stronger Families

If you suspect abuse or neglect may be occurring, you need to report it.

Oklahoma law requires that anyone who has reason to believe that a child is being abused or neglected must report the incident.

We know this can be very hard to do, especially if the suspected abuser is a friend or relative. But failure to report child abuse is a misdemeanor offense.

But more importantly, by reporting the abuse you may be saving an innocent child his or her life. Not reporting could cost it.

A child’s behavior can signal abuse or neglect long before any physical signs. Here are the things you need to look for…

Nervousness around adults.

Aggression toward adults or other children.

Inability to stay awake or to concentrate for extended periods.

Sudden, dramatic changes in personality or activities.

Unnatural interest in sex.

Frequent or unexplained bruises or injuries.

Low self-esteem.

Poor Hygiene.

Child abuse can occur anywhere and everywhere. It doesn’t matter where you are in society. But the risk is greater in families where parents:

Have economic, housing or personal problems.

Are isolated from there family or community.

Have difficulty controlling anger or stress.

Are dealing with physical or mental health issues.

Abuse alcohol or drugs.

Appear uninterested in the care or safety of their children.

By helping parents struggling with any of these challenges, you can reduce the likelihood of abuse or neglect. Reach out to them and their children. Show you care.

1.) Contact your school district, library or faith group. Ask them about support programs for parents and how you can help. If there isn’t one, start one.

2.) Wear a blue ribbon. Tell everyone who asks it’s a symbol for preventing child abuse and neglect. Besides, everyone looks better in blue, right?

3.) Call or write your elected officials. Ask them to support funding for child abuse prevention programs. Provide them with literature (like this blog!)

4.) Write a Letter to the Editor. Let the world (or at least your community) know where you stand on this issue.

Over the next 5 weeks we will post 5 things you can do to prevent Child Abuse right now. Here’s #1, Reaching Out.

1.) Be a friend to a parent you know. Ask how their child is doings. Draw on your own experiences for support. If they seemed stressed out or stretched close to the edge, offer to help out. Run errands or baby-sit.

2.) Be a friend to a child you know. Show you care.

3.) Talk to your friends and neighbors about looking out for each other’s children. Foster a supportive spirit.

4.) Give what you don’t need or use anymore (used clothes, furniture, toys) to another family. Help relieve the financial burden for them.

5.) Volunteer your time and money to programs in your community that support parents and children.

Guidelines:

Act in a supportive spirit. Remember, you are trying to improve your child’s behavior. That’s always goal # 1.

Make sure your correction is connected to the bad behavior.

Then:

Remove whatever the child is misusing—toys, food, what have you—until he/she is ready to use them appropriately.

Take away a privilege from the child until they are ready to behave.

Prevent the child from destructive behavior. Example, if the child is kicking a cabinet, offer a pillow instead. Hold them only if necessary.

Guide the child to where he/she needs to go.

Remove the child from a situation when he/she misbehaves.

Don’t “give-in” to a child who is misbehaving. That will just encourage it. Say “If you don’t cooperate, I don’t feel like cooperating either.”

Correct the child’s bad behavior, but still understand your child’s feelings.

Praise and compliment good behavior (and do it early!) If your child does something that makes you happy, he/she will understand that and want to repeat it.

Make sure your child knows how his/her actions affect others.

Encourage children to use words to solve problems. The best way to teach this lesson is by example.

-Fran Morris

In honor of Earth Day here are 15 ways you can conserve energy and leave behind a better world for your children!

1. Do full loads of laundry. Don’t start the washing machine until it’s full of dirty laundry.
2. Use rainwater for plants. Collect rainwater and use it to water your plants. No wastage on treated water.
3 . Decide what you want before opening the fridge and do not open the fridge for too long.
4. Plant a tree. Trees help reduce carbon dioxide and increase oxygen.
5. Print on both sides of paper. This simple act reduces consumption by half.
6. Walk or cycle to work, shopping or school. Leave the car in the garage. Good for the environment and your health.
7. Send online greeting cards. Save trees and money.
8. Ask for a cone instead of a paper cup when you buy ice cream. Why not? You can eat the cone instead of throwing it away!
9. Easy defrosting. Do not use running water to thaw frozen foods. Defrost food overnight in the fridge or by taking it out a few hours before cooking.
10. Turn off the computer when not in use.
11. Use a handkerchief instead of packets of tissues. You save trees as well as money.
12. Take shower instead of using the bathtub to save water.
13. Unplug your cell phone as soon as it’s fully charged.
14. Light up right. Use natural daylight wherever possible. Switch off lights when you leave a room.
15. Compost kitchen waste. Instead of dumping fruit and vegetable peelings, decompose them naturally to make fertilizer.

The full list of 30 can be found at http://bit.ly/aCK1bu

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

-Dorothy Law Nolte

Everyday researchers and doctors are discovering more and more how the brain functions and develops in the first weeks and months of life. In all their work, one thing is becoming clear: Early Childhood experiences are critical.

From babyhood to childhood there are things that every child needs. Here are “10 things” that will get you started:

1.) Interaction: Your baby needs consistent, long-term attention from you and other caring adults. It actually increases your child’s capacity to learn.

2.) Touch: It’s fun to hold and cuddle your baby, for you and for him. But it does more than just comfort your baby. It helps his brain growth as well.

3.) Stable Relationships: It may seem odd to talk about your parent/child “relationship” when your child is still in diapers. But relationships with parents and other caregivers must start early. They buffer stress that can harm your child.

4.) Safe, Healthy Environment: This may seem like an obvious one, but your child’s environment must be free from lead, loud noises, sharp objects and other hazards (like Dad’s snoring).

5.) Self-Esteem: Children have to belief in themselves, but they need loved ones and others to believe in them first. Like a flower, Self-Esteem grows. All it takes is respect, encouragement and positive role models.

6.) Quality Care: From Day Care to Health Care, trained professionals can make a positive difference in the life of your child.

7.) Play: No matter your age (even if you’re a grown-up!) you should always take time to play. For children it’s especially important. Playtime helps your child explore his senses and discover how the world works.

8.) Communication: Talking with your baby builds the verbal skills needed to succeed in school and later in life. And who knows? Maybe the baby who says “Goo Goo, Gaa Gaa” will one day be making speeches!

9.) Music: Looking for a fun way to interact with your child? Expose them to music. It expands your child’s world and teaches new skills.

10.) Reading: Children who love reading come from adults who do as well. Reading to your child from the start shows him importance it is and creates a lifelong love of books.

Remember, there are always many more things you can do to help your child grow into a responsible adult. But we hope these 10 Needs will get you and your child started on the path to success!

“I’m so lucky to have you”

“You are a great helper”

“I like it when you try so hard”

“Let’s talk about it”

“I’m sorry”

You’re very special to me”

“Thank you for being patient”

“You’re a great kid”

“I love you”